My Own Prejudices

Tonight I stopped by Lane Bryant, mostly planning just to browse and window shop. I was quickly approached by one of the employees. I acknowledged her, but continued to browse.

After a few minutes, I noticed another employee who by their interaction, clearly was new to the position. She also addressed me, and unlike with the first woman, I responded back. She and I carried on a dialogue and discussed some of the new items they had in the store. She then helped me find a dressing room and purchase a pair of pants I decided to buy.

As I was walking out of the store, I realized why I had engaged in a conversation with the second woman, and not the first. The first employee was not plus sized. I felt surprised when I saw her there, and did a double take. And even though she clearly was the manager and the second woman was new to the job, I chose to solicit the opinion of the plus sized woman. I didn't trust an average sized woman to assist me in a store designed for plus sized women.

I pride myself for being aware of bias and prejudice, for understanding power and privilege, and for pursuing a more socially just world. And part of that is recognizing in myself my owns prejudices. But, it sucks to realize that I still allow my own bias to affect my decisions. Even superficial decisions about whose opinion I trust more about my wardrobe.